That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
