no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
