My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
