it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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