I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
