Three words: puerto rican gang bang
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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