So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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