I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
