Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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