I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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