you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
