Im at strip club and am horny
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
