Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
