How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do herpes really smell.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
