i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
