capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
