therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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