So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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