he puts the penis in happiness.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
