Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
