it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
