why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
