You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
