Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
