they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
