Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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