Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
