I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
