She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
