Non-Jews are for practice
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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