He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
