He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
