Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
