he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
