I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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