Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
