ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
