am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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