Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
