he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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