i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
