So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
