You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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