Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
