what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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