Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
