Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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