ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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