Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
