put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
