This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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